The Arkansas Football Preview
We simulate the season opener vs. Georgia. Find out who won!
Welcome to Pig Tales! It’s football season! Tomorrow the Hogs will suit up for the first time under new head coach Sam Pittman, as they take on the #4 Georgia Bulldogs. I’ll be previewing that game shortly, but if you haven’t done so already, please subscribe so you never miss an edition of Pig Tales:
With that out of the way, let’s discuss the game tomorrow, and see if we can predict how it will turn out.
Throwback
If you’re an avid consumer of Arkansas sports media, you’ve likely read several game previews already, so I figured we’d do something a little different and fun on this Friday morning. At the end of the day, sports predictions are little more than educated guesses. We can’t know exactly how the game will turn out. Or can we? That’s right, folks, as a Pig Tales exclusive, I can definitively tell you how the game will be played down to the play. How can I do that, you ask? It’s simple— we must simply travel back in time to 2005.
Ah, 2005— a time when fashion was atrocious, Jimmy Fallon was in rom coms, and Green Day was robbed of album of the year. But we’re going back in time for different reasons. We’re going back to 2005 because in 2005, EA Sports will release NCAA Football 2006— the greatest college football game of all time.
I don’t know if I can quantify how many hours I played NCAA Football 06 for the Playstation 2. Several factors made NCAA Football 06 special. The game featured customizable players, teams, stadiums, and even fans. I played many games as Klaus Von Schnitzel, a 7’2” wide receiver who ran a 4.2 40 yard dash. It was the first game in the series to feature “Race for the Heisman,” a mode where you created a player and not only controlled him on the field hoping to earn accolades, but also off the field, where you navigated life as a college student. This meant that you had to go to class, work out, and have a social life, all played out in awkward PS2 era cuscenes. It also is the only game in the series to feature licensed music, as the series departed from the usual fight songs in the background to a strangely incredible punk playlist(?). It’s one of my favorite video game soundtracks of all time.
For these reasons, I’ve decided to return to the happy times of my childhood, before I knew how low Arkansas football could sink. I’ve imported current rosters into the 14 year old game, and will be playing every game this season to give us an accurate view into the future.
The rules are simple. I have to play on the highest difficulty, and I have to play realistically— that is, I can’t go for it on 4th down if that doesn’t make sense. I’ll try to run Kendal Briles’ offense and Barry Odom’s defense as close as I can guess until we actually see them in action. I’ll be using 5 minute quarters for brevity’s sake. It’s time to see if the Hogs can do the impossible and upset #4 Georgia in Fayetteville.
Pregame
Blurry 4:3 aspect ratio Brad Nessler greets us as we get set to kickoff.
It’s a beautiful day at not yet renovated Razorback stadium with sunny skies and a small chance of pixelation.
Given that College Gameday has decided to attend the game, Lee Corso picks his mascot head gear and has chosen the Georgia Bulldogs as overwhelming favorites. Folks, I hope he’s ready for an upset, because I used to be really good at this game.
The First Quarter
Georgia wins the toss and decides to receive. The Arkansas defense is ready, but after several good runs from tailback Zamir White, the Bulldogs punch it into the endzone. They convert the PAT, making it 7-0, and Arkansas’ offense gets set on the field after a touchback is taken by returner Treylon Burks. Rakeem Boyd runs it twice to open up, but the Bulldogs gobble him up before he can grab a first down. Feleipe Franks’ first pass as a Razorback is incomplete as he overthrows a well covered Hudson Henry. The Hogs punt.
Georgia completes a couple of quick passes to wideout George Pickens, before White breaks a long run to score. They convert the PAT, and it’s now 14-0. The horrifying Bulldog mascot celebrates, but the Hogs are ready to strike back. After a sustained drive led by some clutch third down runs from Rakeem Boyd, the quarter ends 14-0 with the Razorback offense moving.
Not too bad! Despite the game incorrectly labeling Georgia as #14 and not #4, I think this could be accurate, and I’d take it. There are no stupid penalties, no one looks lost, and Sam Pittman seems like he’s got his side ready to play.
The Second Quarter
Ouch. Franks throws a pick to end a successful drive, and Georgia immediately responds with a long touchdown throw to Pickens. The Hogs struggle and are forced to punt. Georgia returns the punt for a touchdown. It’s 28-0. Things aren’t looking too great in Fayetteville. Quarterback D’Wan Mathis is taking care of the ball, and after a Hog punt and a Georgia field goal drive, the score is 31-0.
These, uh, “people” don’t seem too upset though.
Boyd can’t get going on the ground, and the Georgia defense is suffocating the Arkansas receivers. Franks throws another pick. It’s getting ugly, and Georgia scores another touchdown, this time with quarterback Mathis scrambling into the end zone. It’s 38-0.
Arkansas has little time left to drive, and after a costly sack and fumble by Franks, the defense is able to score on a scoop. They miss the PAT, and it’s 44-0. It’s halftime, and the somehow capacity crowd in Fayetteville is unhappy.
The Third Quarter
Maybe I’m not as good at this game as I remember. Call it the terrible aspect ratio, the wonky PS2 era controls, or my own ineptitude, but the offense can’t move the ball at all. All the offense sees is Georgia’s defensive line, as Franks is sacked three times over two punt drives, and Boyd gets stuffed every time he touches the ball.
All I know is pain.
Who cares what the score is? It’s bad, okay?
As the third quarter winds to a close, a Georgia drive stalls, and the Hogs get a breath of fresh air. Treylon Burks waits for a punt, and upon receiving it, realizes the entire right side of the field is open. He hits the turbo, picking up a few key blocks, and scores on a punt return touchdown. The crowd roars. This is what a special teams coach can do!
Nightmare Big Red celebrates, and the score is now 58-6, as the Bulldogs block the PAT. The quarter ends. Existence is the greatest horror.
The Fourth Quarter
Georgia has put in their second stringers, but the Hogs are still fighting. After a Georgia punt, Feleipe Franks starts a drive with a bang, as he completes two quick screens to Rakeem Boyd, who has only 8 yards on 17 rushing attempts. Boyd has been effective catching the ball though, and has 5 receptions for 92 yards. The Hogs reach midfield, when lightning strikes! Trey Knox is all alone, deep in Bulldog territory, and catches Feleipe Franks’ first touchdown as a Razorback for 54 yards.
This cheerleader with a painted(?) stomach celebrates while the second PAT is blocked.
The teams trade punts, and Franks is picked off again. Georgia runs out the clock to end the game with a final score of 58-12. This would be a Scorigami in the NFL.
Blonde Kirby Smart shakes the hand of his former assistant Sam Pittman, who is sporting a black razorback zip up.
There were no survivors. Lee Corso is making fun of the team for being bad.
Post Game
Rakeem Boyd finishes with 22 rushes for 30 yards, picking up most of that yardage in garbage time. He does have a successful day receiving, as he finishes with 6 catches and 104 yards. Franks struggles under center in his first game at Arkansas, completing 17 of 35 passes for 198 yards, 1 touchdown, and 3 interceptions. Knox is the only receiver who can get going with that long 54 yard catch being his only grab.
Georgia begins the season 1-0, and Sam Pittman falls to 0-1 in his debut. Ask not for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.
Conclusion
This was a fun experiment. I actually doubt that the game will be this bad on Saturday, as it’s clear that I need to brush up on my NCAA Football 06 skills. I anticipate that the game will be closer than some think, and that the Hogs might cover the 27.5 point spread. However, I think Georgia’s talent will be just too much, and that they’ll pull away in the second half.
Perhaps we’ll see some fireworks from Knox and Burks though, as this incredibly scientific simulation predicts.
For our sake and his, I hope Franks is better than his virtual counterpart.
Thank you so much for reading this edition of Pig Tales! It was super fun to jump back on an old game that I used to enjoy, and while we didn’t pull out the win, I’m just glad to have Arkansas football back. I can’t speak on it now, but I have something fun planned for the actual post game to recap what happened and how it happened. Hopefully it’ll be recapping an Arkansas upset for the ages.
What’s your score prediction? Will we be blown out this badly, or will we do as all great teams do, and cover the spread? Are you bold enough to predict an Arkansas win? Leave a comment below! Be sure to like our Facebook page or follow me on twitter for announcements about content to come! Thanks, and Go Hogs!!!